Enough

Sometimes words aren’t enough.

The pain and suffering go too deep for any mesh of syllables to pierce through.

The words you think might be helpful somehow float on the air once they are spoken.

They linger for a moment and then leave without entering the heart.

Words don’t always figure out the problem.

Sometimes being a friend isn’t enough.

The joy of friendship loses its flavor when it is tested by the fires of life.

The bond once shared isn’t strong enough to fulfill the emptiness of the soul.

The well-meaning friend might handle the situation in just the wrong way.

Friendship can’t always go deep enough.

Sometimes being an ear to listen isn’t enough.

The silence can’t solve the issue.

The patience to listen runs aground once the speaker has finished.

The listener doesn’t have the words to complete the unanswered questions.

Listening doesn’t always finish the equation.

Sometimes being the shoulder to cry on isn’t enough.

The weeping may soften the ache but it doesn’t provide the answers.

The tears may release some tension but it returns after a night’s rest.

The shoulder can only bear the burden for so long.

Crying only brings the problem to light.

Pain of the mind tears at the soul.

Depression is a sinking hole that never seems to have a bottom.

How do good friends help a dear friend who is in need?

Sometimes singing is enough.

When all else fails,

            when the words linger in the air,

                        when being a good friend is only a title,

                                    when the time for listening has ended,

                                                and when your shoulder aches from carrying the heavy burden,

Sing.

Sing every song of worship that enters your mind.

Sing even though your melody cracks with emotion.

Sing no matter who walks by and listens.

Sing with a passion that no simple words can describe.

Lift your eyes to the heavens.

Stare at the glittering stars in the vast blackness of the night sky.

Your problems always seem so much smaller when you glance at the bigger picture.

The One who made the vast galaxies created your little self.

Why do you doubt His power in your own life?

Life is so full of difficulties.

It can be a dark rain cloud that makes truth seem like a figment of the imagination.

It can be a dark, deep pool that seems to swallow every shred of hope.

It can be a battle of the mind that seems like it can never be won.

But that’s simply not true.

God never lets anything come our way that we cannot overcome.

He is enough.

Fight the hard fight!

And sing while you’re at it. 

Romanticizing

     Do you know that feeling of thinking that reality was a dream? Have you ever been on a vacation that was so fantastic that you kind of forgot what home was like? When you returned to the daily routine of home, did the memories of your vacation slowly melt away until all you could remember was a happy feeling? When a loved one died, have you ever caught yourself afterwards thinking of them in a fictional way? All you can remember were feelings, but not the normal drudgery of life?

     That's kind of what it feels like to go to college. In a sense, you are are living in two separate worlds. You live at home during breaks and in the summer. Home is familiar and has a comfortable routine with your family that you have lived for all of your life. However, you also live at college throughout most of the year. Soon this too becomes like home, but in an entirely different way. Friends become your family, and the days of non-stop commitment soon become a tiring but familiar routine. They are both vastly different, but they are both a part of who you are.

     Have you ever been in the summer and wished for the coolness of winter? However, when winter arrives you soon begin to complain about how cold it is and how much you want the warmth of summer?

We romanticize about everything we don't have. 

     When I was living at home for the summer, I longingly ached to be back at college. Now that I'm here, I have remembered how draining this life can be sometimes.

     Don't get me wrong. I love life here. There have been so many times when I have stopped and just thanked the Lord for miraculously bringing me back. I am so glad to be with my friends, to be living in the glorious mountains, and being involved in my passions of music and theater again! There are so many aspects about college that I enjoy dearly. It has been so wonderful coming back and knowing people. There is not this super awkwardness of knowing absolutely nobody and having to start relationships from scratch like last year.

     In my romanticizing of college over the summer, though, I had forgotten the hardships that were a part of this way of living. I'm not even talking about homework or classes. It is hard living in an environment where everyone is constantly comparing themselves to others. It is hard living in an atmosphere where one of the top priorities is to find a soulmate. It is hard living in a place where you are relied on and expected to know the answers for the difficult questions of life that you have never experienced before.

     Just as different workout exercises test different muscles, so the different areas and seasons of our lives challenge various aspects of our character. I had just forgotten what parts of my being had gotten weak while living at home. At home, I was challenged in patience and endurance. Here I'm being challenged in self-esteem and wisdom.

     I don't want to romanticize anymore. I don't want to focus on the "what ifs" because they take away my focus on the "what now". I need to enjoy the present, with both its hardships and its joys!