Year three is finished! We have just one more to go in our relationship before we head toward bigger and better things. People always told me that the college years fly by quickly and now I understand why. The days are filled with so many new experiences and crazy hours that the time seems to pass by in a blur!
Junior year has been full of so many wonderful experiences! It has been such a rewarding year in my theatrical and musical endeavors. I landed large roles in three productions that were all so completely different. I was stretched as an actress and a singer. I now know that I can play roles that are out of the confining type-cast that I had put myself in. I have a gift of connecting with people on stage that has been exciting to explore!
This year has also been defined by my new role of being a Resident Assistant (RA) on campus. The job of being a policewoman, counselor, event planner, room checker, and big sister to twenty-one girls all at once was never something that I imagined myself doing, especially since I had to incorporate it into my already busy life. Yet, through the Lord's constant guidance and grace I was able to do my job well and to love the lifestyle of pouring into the girls around me. I grew so much in micromanaging, wisdom, compassion, and boldness through being an RA. That is definitely a chapter of my story that I will always be grateful for.
However, I couldn't have grown as a person without the many trials that I faced. I grew in confidence as an RA because I grappled with the crippling fear of not being good enough. I had amazing success playing the romantic lead in the opera because I fought the depression of despising the way that I looked. I found contentment in my current singleness only after I experienced the heartbreak of when friend started dating the guy that I liked. I was able to discover new friendships once my closer friendships faded into the background. I have matured as a person because of the difficulties of junior year.
Yet, I can by no means take credit for this increased improvement. The Lord has been with me every step of the way! My relationship with Him has deepened in love and trust. He sustained me through the fear of losing friendships, anger for the ways I was poorly treated, disgust at my appearance, grief of an impatient and broken heart, and loneliness because of faded friendships. Although I didn't always understand, I could always end my day with the prayer, "I love you and I trust you. Amen."
Junior year has been the continued cultivation of a new creation. It has been full of lessons and yet it has revealed to me the lessons that I must continue to learn.
I am still learning how to be bold.
I am still learning when to say no to good things.
I eagerly await the last chapter of my college years with excited trembling. After that, who knows where my road will go next!