This is a story about a young girl who dreamed about going to college to study her passions of music and theatre. This is a story about a young girl who did not have enough money in order to make this dream become a reality on her own. This is a story about how this dream has come true through many miracles both large and small.
I always knew that I wanted to go to college. I guess that I always knew that I wanted to get a degree in either music, theatre or both. I also knew that I did not want to go to the college that my parents went to. I had this mentality that I would be reliving their life by going to their school and I wanted to be my own person. Also, the prospect of paying for a private Christian college was daunting and seemingly unattainable. Bryan College was not on my radar, in fact I purposely removed it from the map.
But God had other plans.
Through a series of events that were disappointing at the time, I ended up enrolling for Bryan College only a few months before the semester started. I was afraid. I was afraid of being compared to my parents (which was not a bad thing or something that I needed to be worried about). I was afraid of entering this new world of college. I was afraid because I coundn't afford this expensive school. The reality of "I can't" clouded my joy of the future.
But God had other plans.
He provided for my Freshman year of college through scholarships, part time jobs, savings, and a secret supporter who I still don't know to this day (p.s. if my secret supporter is reading this please know that I am beyond grateful!) Freshman year turned out to be a crazy awesome experience full of new beginnings and challenging adventures.
During the summer before my Sophomore year, I had a "I'm gonna do it all" mentality. I was blessed with a job of being an assistant daycare teacher for the summer. Yet I wanted to work my butt off to pay for college myself. So in addition to working full time at the daycare, I took on night shifts at Chickfila. I was working 13 hour days most of the week. At first, it felt great to be earning my way through school but as the summer dragged on I realized how foolish and miserable I was. There was absolutely no way that I could work hard or long enough to earn the thousands of dollars that it takes to pay for college. I foolishly thought that I was going to be all that I needed.
But God had other plans.
He waited until I was at the end of my rope (literally the last four days of summer) before providing money through some loving people. That was enough (along with my part time jobs at school) to make it for the Fall semester. Looking ahead to the Spring, I had come up with this great plan to be a caretaker/companion to an elderly woman off campus. It was going to be cheaper living and it was going to be wonderful living with this precious woman of God. This opportunity was too good to pass up and I was so proud that I had worked it all out.
But God had other plans.
Four days before I was supposed to come back to school, that plan fell through and I found out that I had to move back in the dorms and pay $3,000 before I could return. I yelled and sobbed at the Lord in fear and confusion, "I thought that I was doing something right! Why would you provide an opportunity for me and then take it away?!" Then a miracle happened. I learned from my professor that he would grant me another scholarship if I could come up with $2,000 in four days. I had forgotten, but I had that exact amount in a savings account that was a gift from a precious couple given to me months earlier! God paid for my Sophomore year.
For Junior year, I knew that the Lord could provide for my tuition but that it had to be within a certain time frame. I had gotten into a routine of working and saving, and I expected that the Lord would provide His part when I needed/wanted it. I had deadlines that He needed to meet.
But God had other plans.
I did not have enough money to pay for my bills at the beginning of both semesters that year. It came in small spurts throughout the months. For the Fall, there was $700 that I needed to finish the payments. I was worried about where this money was going to come from, but I had to keep reminding myself that the Lord would provide. It wasn't until a month later that my parents received almost that exact amount as a gift from a church. My RA job provided bits of funds that I diligently put towards my tuition every two weeks. During Christmas break, I wasn't able to go home to work and save money to pay my phone bill for the Spring semester like I was used to. However, I was able to work on campus by painting sets and I was paid exactly what I needed! During Easter break, I didn't have enough money to go to the Jr./Sr. banquet, but God let me work for my aunt who paid me just what I needed and a little bit extra!
These may not seem as astounding as the glorious miracles we hear about in the Bible stories of old, but to me they are miracles. Through scholarships, awards, insignificant jobs, friends, family, Bryan housekeepers and lots of prayer, I am debt free! I have no student loans! Although I wrestle with fear and doubt over and over again, God still provides for me! There is absolutely no way that I would have been able to go to college debt free without Him.
I hope that this is an encouraging story for you as much as it is an important reminder for me. Right now, I do not have the funds to pay for my Senior year. I am working hard to save for the upcoming semester, but there is no way that I can pay for my last year on my own. But that's the moral of my story, isn't it? God will make a way, despite my anxious efforts. All I have to do is love and trust the perfect timing that only He possesses. That is one of the hardest and most rewarding thing that I get to do!
