I am writing this post because today marks the one month anniversary that I have been on my own. Yes. I have been at college for a full month now! It's crazy!
I think I am finally getting used to my routine. I woke up this morning and I didn't have to frantically scan my calendar to remember what classes I had today. I know the best spots to study and when to hit the cafeteria for the hot food. I have calculated how early I need to leave my room to make my first class and that I don't need to take all my textbooks to every class period. I know when to take time to relax with friends and when to stick to my homework. I am not saying that it is easy or that I have figured out this whole college thing. However, I can finally take a breath and feel more confident that it can be achieved successfully.
My classes are all pretty cool. I find it so interesting how diverse all the professors are. They teach so differently and have various expectations of me that it is easy to be confused. They are all really nice, even though a few of them have some very unique peculiarities. (I have never had a teacher demonstrate a monkey call in class until now.) I really enjoy getting to learn more and more about Music and Theater, the two passions I have come here to study.
It is just so cool to be able to go to school to learn more about my gifts and talents!
There are so many opportunities here at Bryan College that I had to narrow it down to just a few so that I could do things well. I am involved in Women's Chorus and the Hilltop Players (which is the theater group). I also have two small jobs: working with the IT Department and the Cafeteria. And of course, there is always trying to pick something fun to do on the weekends.
I have learned how special Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays are!
Despite how absolutely wonderful college is, it comes with its own share of worries. The looming stack of homework is always there and the fear of forgetting something important frequently comes to mind. There is also a new element of comparison that I discovered that I have here that I am constantly trying to control. Being a former homeschooler, I didn't quite have the weight of comparing myself to other people my age. Here it is a different story. I constantly need to remind myself of my importance through Christ, not how I compare to my peers and classmates.
Also, I am struggling a bit with comparing myself to couples or soon-to-be-couples. All through my middle school and high school years, I could throw away my longing for a guy with the excuse that I was not old enough to date. It was a very realistic excuse to toss away my girlish feelings. I am now at a time when that excuse no longer applies to me. I am old enough to date and get married. I watch guys, mostly objectively to see how they handle situations. I am keeping a keen eye out for the one, but at the same time I am holding myself back.
I don't want to date because I am eligible.
It has just been pressing on my mind lately. I keep praying that the Lord will take control of my thoughts so that I don't fall into the trap that so many girls do. That is why I actively attempt to watch and observe.
I knew that college would be amazing but also that it would have its challenges. It has been incredible this far! I also wasn't ready for the challenges to arise so quickly. This is a time of growth in who I am as a person and who I am in the Lord. It is just the Lord and I now. And He sure is working on me!
