Cycle of Singleness

     My fellow singles, this post is for you and me. Today I felt led to write about something that we all struggle with in one fashion or another. It is the Cycle of Singleness. What is it? It is a revolving thought-process that we have in our heads in order to cope with the fact that we do not currently have a significant other. This might sounds silly or nonsensical, but I believe that most of us have gone through or are still going through this seemingly endless cycle.

     You have probably started off in the "I am Content" phase of this circle. You firmly trust what the Bible says about God having a plan for everything, including a soulmate. You have read and reread Paul's encouragement for believers to stay single in order to impact people in ways that married couples would have a hard time in. You can breathe freely, control your thoughts, and smile at the couples around you. This is the best time in the cycle because contentment is where we should be. It is trusting in the Lord, and it is filled with joy and peace.

But let's be honest. We have a hard time staying there.

     After watching your coupled friends love on each other and watching entertainment that glorifies relationships to such an extreme (try naming fifteen movies that don't have a romantic interest), you rapidly and without realizing slip into the the pit of the "Woe is Me" stage. This stage is where a lot of us linger and sadly it is long lasting. We all have that inherent desire to be chosen because of our uniqueness and to be loved by an individual for it.

The desire to be loved is one of the strongest desires in human nature.   

     Soon all you can think of is why you don't have a significant other. Maybe something is wrong with you. Are you too weird or awkward? Are you not attractive enough? Maybe everyone out there is trying to keep you from being in a romantic relationship. Maybe God doesn't care enough about you to fulfill your needs. Maybe you will never find "the one" and you will be alone forever.  

     This is a very dark time in the Cycle of Singleness and it is filled with darkness and lies, which if you don't try to fight will turn into the next phase; "I Despise Love". This is the extreme stage of bitterness against all relationships and any outward display of affection. Since you are apparently not good enough to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, nobody else should be. You are so tangled up in your own pity-party that you cannot see the beauty of others relationships. This is a dangerous zone to be in as it could easily manifest itself in not only your thoughts but your actions. If you find yourself slipping into this stage, pray that the Lord will reveal His love to you!

     Thankfully, many times we climb out of this dark stage into one of stubborn independence called the "I'm Fine" phase. You are not bitter about being without a partner. Instead you look down on those pathetic pairs in a conceited arrogance because you don't need another person to complete your life. You are perfectly fine just how you are. In fact, a lover would just slow you down and make your life filled with unnecessary complications. Although this may seem like a healthy alternative to being bitter, it is really just disguised longing. But from here there is the hope of returning to the "I am Content" phase and to begin the process all over again.

     This may seem like a hopeless loop but it is actually the ideal training ground for two important virtues: patience and trust. God uses every season of life to constantly teach us and bring us closer to Him. Singleness is an ideal time to learn more about yourself as an individual without having to worry about another person. It is a time for Him to educate us in patience because we don't know how long we will remain on our own and everyday we must give up our desires for His. It is a time for Him to instruct us in trust because we always must come to the conclusion that He knows best and we must rest in Him alone. God's plan always trumps our own. If it is His desire for you to be married one day than He will make it happen! Also, if it is His plan for you to remain single than He will give you the strength and joy to be able to live life to the fullest!

     I am praying for you, my fellow singles! I pray that you are able to see how God is working in you during this precious time!



P.S. I've never done this before, but I love hearing God stories! If you have seen God working through your singleness or just have stories of His love for you, I would love to hear them! My email is rrrmoviegirl@gmail.com and I would love to converse with you and swap stories of how He is working in all of us!

Craving for the Final Chapter

     She felt it in the glory of the mountains. She heard it in the complete melodic unison of a worshiping choir. She felt it in the deep prayers of devoted friends. She saw it in the sparkling stars in a vast, dark sky. She glimpsed it in the quiet peace of dwelling in the Lord's presence.

Heaven.

     "What a glorious place that will be!" She thought that often throughout her seemingly repetitive life. While so many people imagine heaven like a silly cartoon with angels playing harps while floating on clouds, she saw it as something rich and colorful. Just as the earth is a dimmed reflection of God, so heaven would be a bright and glorious place where God resides! She deeply desired, craved and longed for the final moment when she could finally see the Lord at last. She could finally bow down before and yet also embrace her Lover, Savior, Redeemer, and Author. All would be completed and yet all would just be beginning. Death would be the final sentence of one chapter and also the transition into a new one. What a wonderful day that would be!

 "Is it wrong for a Christian to desire to die?" 

     She wondered this while she was slicing cucumbers at her job. "Is it wrong for a child of God to desire to see Him finally?" The Bible states that in the end our faith will be made manifest and real before us. That which we cannot see now will be brought into the light at last. She wanted that with all of her heart. 

     She admitted to herself that it was also a desire to escape. Some days she was so fed up with how sinful and cruel the world was. It annoyed her that she was drenched and suffocated in sin and that she wouldn't be fully able to worship or obey the Lord without it on this earth. She could imagine what the finished product of Rebekah would be like once it was completed. She just wanted to skip the refining and assembling step and get to the final result. Why couldn't life just be like buying a new book and skipping to the end page to see if the conclusion was a happy one? After all, Revelation is the final chapter. Why couldn't God just fast-forward to that part?

     Then she remembered that if you skip to the end of the book you would never truly appreciate the journey of story. The best stories are always the ones that are filled with hardship but completed with triumph. The purpose of mankind is to glorify God and what better way to do that than for Him to orchestrate a remarkable story through each and every character? 

     Her tale wasn't over yet. 

     Although she liked to think that she had already impacted a lot of people for the Lord, she was selling herself short to the potential that could be in store. Although she craved the final chapter, she really didn't know what sort of character development needed to happen in order for that last part to be the richest it could possibly be. Although she assumed God could still impact people without her, she forgot to take into account that she was specifically designed to touch peoples' lives in ways that only she could do. 

     The desire for heaven and for the final product wasn't a bad thing. In fact, it gave her joy and hope throughout the day. However, she couldn't let it cloud her view of why she was on earth in the first place. God wasn't finished with her yet. He doesn't create extras, background characters, or minor roles. He is glorified through each and every person in extremely specific ways that only they can bring out. It is why we are all still here. We are not done yet! 

     If you have struggled with longing for an end, I implore you to remember that God isn't finished with you yet! He determines the length of our days and the number of the last heartbeat. Look forward to the final chapter, but don't let it overshadow where you are now! You might miss the whole point of what He is trying to teach you! Carry on and live out His story in whatever way He has given you! 

Enough

Sometimes words aren’t enough.

The pain and suffering go too deep for any mesh of syllables to pierce through.

The words you think might be helpful somehow float on the air once they are spoken.

They linger for a moment and then leave without entering the heart.

Words don’t always figure out the problem.

Sometimes being a friend isn’t enough.

The joy of friendship loses its flavor when it is tested by the fires of life.

The bond once shared isn’t strong enough to fulfill the emptiness of the soul.

The well-meaning friend might handle the situation in just the wrong way.

Friendship can’t always go deep enough.

Sometimes being an ear to listen isn’t enough.

The silence can’t solve the issue.

The patience to listen runs aground once the speaker has finished.

The listener doesn’t have the words to complete the unanswered questions.

Listening doesn’t always finish the equation.

Sometimes being the shoulder to cry on isn’t enough.

The weeping may soften the ache but it doesn’t provide the answers.

The tears may release some tension but it returns after a night’s rest.

The shoulder can only bear the burden for so long.

Crying only brings the problem to light.

Pain of the mind tears at the soul.

Depression is a sinking hole that never seems to have a bottom.

How do good friends help a dear friend who is in need?

Sometimes singing is enough.

When all else fails,

            when the words linger in the air,

                        when being a good friend is only a title,

                                    when the time for listening has ended,

                                                and when your shoulder aches from carrying the heavy burden,

Sing.

Sing every song of worship that enters your mind.

Sing even though your melody cracks with emotion.

Sing no matter who walks by and listens.

Sing with a passion that no simple words can describe.

Lift your eyes to the heavens.

Stare at the glittering stars in the vast blackness of the night sky.

Your problems always seem so much smaller when you glance at the bigger picture.

The One who made the vast galaxies created your little self.

Why do you doubt His power in your own life?

Life is so full of difficulties.

It can be a dark rain cloud that makes truth seem like a figment of the imagination.

It can be a dark, deep pool that seems to swallow every shred of hope.

It can be a battle of the mind that seems like it can never be won.

But that’s simply not true.

God never lets anything come our way that we cannot overcome.

He is enough.

Fight the hard fight!

And sing while you’re at it. 

When God Says...

     "Alright, Lord. Today is the day. I need to know today if I can go to college again or not."

     This was her prayer as she drove to her first job. Everyday it was the same old routine. Go to work at a daycare with crazy kids from 8 til 5 and then scrub bathroom floors at Chickfila from 7 til 11 at night. There was also the same old prayer that she had been desperately praying every day for the whole summer.

     "Lord, please provide. I know you can; I've seen you provide in crazy ways before. Just please provide now. I want to go back to college so bad that I have a horrible feeling in my gut when I think about being prevented from returning." She would then usually dwindle off in silence, thinking about how awful it would be telling her closest friends that she would not be able to live another year with them.

     That was her usual routine, sometimes broken by moments of absolute trust in the Lord and His ultimate plan for her life. Some days she could bear the thought of not returning because deep down inside she knew that wherever the Lord placed her was where she was supposed to be. But she really just hoped that His plan and her plan were parallel.

     On this day, though, it was the hardest test of faith in this specific circumstance that she had faced all summer. She needed to know today if she would receive enough money to pay for her first semester. $2,000. That number rang in her head all day, along with the tightness in her throat. As she taught the class of four and five-year-old children, she kept catching herself on the verge of tears.

     Nothing came. She plodded through the day, crying while trying to sing praises on her commutes home and numbly accomplishing the tasks in front of her.

God hadn't answered. 

     She was waiting for a sign. A text saying she won another scholarship. An email from a mysterious family friend who wanted to help her out. A hundred dollar bill lying in a gutter. Anything to tell her that the door was still open. She needed it that day.

     Late that night, her parents gently reminded her of something that she had quite forgotten. God doesn't run on human time. Perfect timing is a gift that only He possesses, and we don't know how it works. The door wasn't closed until the day the bill was due.

     Two days later, God said yes. She got three texts from her mother at work, each time confirming another piece of the monetary puzzle. What a relief! She about cried again, while changing diapers, but this time with joy!

     Yes, God gave her the desire that she longed for. In all honesty, an answer was all that she really wanted. If God had said no, than she would have just found the road that He wanted instead. It was the three months of waiting that she despised the most. It was a test of patience. She didn't pass with flying colors, but she had learned that difficult lesson a little more.

God doesn't always say yes, 

but His answer is always the right one. 

I am just really glad that He did!


(Stay tuned! Another year of college adventures is sure to follow!)

Praying in the Playground

     That's right! I said "praying", not "playing" in the playground!

     I have worked at Chickfila for about two years now. It is a job that I absolutely love, even if I do get caught saying "My pleasure" at home! One of the aspects of working there is cleaning the store once we close and all of the customers have left. You know who usually gets stuck with cleaning the playground? This girl! I don't mind it. It is definitely not one of my favorite things to do, but it is kind of nice having some time to yourself after you have been dealing with customers all day.

And it's a good place to pray.

     I have been praying a lot lately. Ever since I went to college I have learned more and more how helpful it is to pray throughout the day no matter where you are at. My commutes to both of my jobs are fun 20 minute rides to have a chat with the Lord. Cleaning the playground is a great place to be alone to pray, while I am sanitizing sticky fingerprints on the plastic walls.

     On this particular Tuesday night I was praying/ranting about a problem that has been on my mind all summer. I want to go back to college. That shouldn't seem like a problem, right? Most people go to college for four years without looking back, and I have only done one. However, I can only take one year at a time, and the summers in-between are filled with the anxious scrambling to earn as much money as I can even if it means working 12 hours days most of the week. I had been working so hard, earning some scholarship money from the school from working hard as a student, and I had been praying hard while hoping that the tighter I closed my eyes the more likely my prayers would be answered.

It had gotten to the point that I was exhausted 

from trying so hard to earn something that was good.

     "Just tell me what you want me to do!" I screamed inside my mind to the Lord.

     (Now while growing up in a Christian home and being a missionary kid I have learned a lot of the answers. Ever since I was little I had to learn what the Bible says. I could have the correct answer for many things. However, that does not mean that I always live by them. I forget them quite often. Or if I do remember what I have learned since I was a child, I wouldn't truly believe them in my heart.)

     That night an answer popped into my head that I had quite forgotten. It was from an old song which was taken from a Bible verse.

"Be still and know that I am God."

     It popped into my head as clear as day. It made me pause wiping the slide for a second.

     "Well...but...what about...I don't want to do that!" It was the complete opposite of everything my mind was telling me to do. I wanted to work my butt off to earn my way through college. I wanted to figure out the problem. I wanted to go ahead and plan my next semester. I wanted to go ahead and practice my audition for the next play or think on how I would hug and greet my friends who I have been missing with all my heart for months. I wanted to...

"Be still and know that I am God."

     I gave in. Usually the things that you naturally don't want to do but you know is from the Lord is mostly likely the best option. I doesn't make any sense, but most of the time the Lord doesn't make sense until you can look back and see the whole story. I can't see the whole story yet. I can only see right now, and how the Lord has provided in the past.

     If I am supposed to go to college this next year than the Lord will provide, even if He only has three weeks to acquire a lot of money. If I am not supposed to go to college this next year, than I am supposed to do something different that will be better for me in the long run. This is what I've got to hold on to. And it has served me in the past well. I remember my past to have a hope for my future.

From Mountains to Cornfields

"The mountains look different everyday!"

     That's what she said every time someone asked her how living at college in the mountains of TN was. It was true. There were so many layers to the mountains. so many distinct rises and falls. Various portions of the mountains were gloriously exhibited each day when the sun shone through the clouds. On rainy days, the greenness of the trees shone more brightly, and the lighting would hide behind the peaks as it struck. On foggy days, sometimes it was hard to imagine that there were miles upon miles of mountainous hills behind the thick wall of gray. Every time she walked to breakfast she would breathe in the crisp mountain air and praise the Lord for His amazing creativity. She would marvel at how magnificent the mountains were that morning.

     The same was true of college. Although it definitely wasn't always glorious, there was always something new and exciting to learn or explore. There were so many different layers of college, from being a dedicated student, to a loyal friend, to a compassionate counselor, to a daughter away from home, to a musician, to an actress, to a human being learning how to trust the Lord better. Each day different factions of her were pushed and pursued. On rainy days, her relationship with the Lord was tested and grown stronger. On foggy days, when she was ready to quit and couldn't see the other side of the problem, there was always a tug at her heart telling her to keep pushing on. The rises and falls of life on her own was challenging but worthwhile and exciting.

     Now she is back to the cornfields of Indiana, her home. Cornfields are very different from mountains. They are flat and you think that you can see all the way across to another state. It is harder to determine how far it goes. It seems to stretch on forever. Cornfields are very organized. They are in straight rows that never seem to falter. They exist to provide food for many hungry people across the United States. They are practical.

     The same has been true of this summer. This summer her goal is to work as much as she can to pay for the next year of college. Home is very different from college. This summer seems to stretch on and on with just the prospect of laborious hours to be worked in the future. If the money isn't saved by the end of the summer than who knows how long the time it will take to acquire it. Life at home is very organized. She goes to work at one job, comes home to eat and then heads out to the other job. It's predicable to a point. It is practical. She is home to work. to save, to be able to return to the mountains.

Life hasn't stopped. But in some ways it feels like it has. 

     It seems to be an intermission in the story so that the participants can gather enough money to be able to see more of the show. However, life doesn't flow that way. There are no gaps in the time line of a human's life. There are seasons and chapters, not chunks with chasms of void in between. This summer is a season, in both the literal and figurative sense of the word.

     Although she waits to see what the next chapter will be, (she hopes it will be another year in college, but she is relying on the Lord's provision to see that be made possible) she keeps on telling herself to enjoy and grow in the chapter she is in. If you try and read too much ahead you won't be able to pay attention to the page you are on.

She is not stuck, she is not being put on hold, she is not being confined. 

     She is supposed to grow in new ways while she is at home in the cornfields. The mountains taught her much, but sometimes you learn new things when you change environments. Only the Lord knows what comes next. Perhaps it will be an entirely new adventure that she would have never imagined!

Confessions of an Optimist

     I am an optimist.

     If you ask any of my friends or family, they will without a doubt confirm this mental state that I am almost always in. If you go up to one of them and ask, "Is Rebekah an optimist or pessimist?" They will probably give you a big smile and say, "Rebekah? She is definitely an optimist!"

     I see the good in a lot of things. While other students complain about being required to go to chapel, I usually remark about how much I love the worship music. While my other actors complain about the long and arduous rehearsal process before the performance, I will usually comment about how important rehearsals are to establish the details of the script that are so much fun to explore. While many people can't stand being stuck in bed sick, I can usually find an excuse to be happy about having a day of rest from my busy week.

Thunderstorms are breathtaking, hard work is producing Godly virtues, 

people who hurt are most likely hurting themselves inside, 

life always works out in the end. 

     Many people make fun of optimists saying that they would rather be a realist. I want to counter this argument by saying that optimists cannot hide from the ugliness of reality any more than pessimists can hide from the beauty of life! Life is hard and sometimes so ugly that you want to disbelieve that it is real. Trust me, I understand. There have been many times in my life when I look up to God and ask, "Why? This isn't worth living in!" There are horrid people who do horrible things that creates feelings of hate in the people who have been affected. There are diseases and catastrophes that wipe out entire towns of people in a matter of days. Life is not rainbows and unicorns like we sometimes desire it to be.

     But that doesn't mean there isn't any beauty at all. After the storm there are rainbows. After you get sick, your body becomes more immune to that virus. After the pain of childbirth, there is a new life. After the struggle of perseverance, there is the delightful feeling of a job well done. After the pain of waiting, God's best comes along.

You cannot see how good God is unless you can see the evil around you. 

     That's why I'm an optimist. Yes, I'm sure it is a part of my DNA somehow that I naturally want to think positively. However, it is also a choice. You have a strength when you choose to think of the good. When you focus on the bad that is all you can see. You lose the willingness to fight. When you focus on the positive, life doesn't seem so unbearable.

     That's why I'm an optimist. Yes, this world is covered in sin and evil. However, that is not the end. God is still in control, and at the end of all things the world will be right again. His glory will be even greater since we have seen the worst of humanity.

     So stay optimistic! Stay filled with joy as you go through the trials of this life! Keep fighting the good fight while keeping your chin up!

The Answer

     She found herself staring at the back wall again. How long had she been staring in that fashion this time? It was such a weird feeling; her mind felt completely empty and overwhelmingly full at the same time. How do you process unexpected situations?

     She felt like she got hit by a truck. All of the sudden, her marvelous morning had turned into an afternoon rushed with adrenaline. She didn’t know how to process the sudden change. Eventually her mind just gave up on thoughts and emotions and just settled in an empty void.  Sadly, she couldn’t stay there forever. Although it felt like a bad dream, that situation was her reality.

     The funny thing about tough circumstances is that they reveal deep thoughts that would have otherwise never been explored. As she sat alone, trying to think, deep questions arose in her head.

     What does it mean to be strong? After that day, many of her friends had come to tell her of how strong she was. They marveled at how she pushed through the difficulties and stood firm while those around her seemed to crumble with emotions. Over and over they told her this, and yet she never truly believed it although she nodded and laughed with the group verbally. She was not strong. She was just trying to handle it like she had practiced in her head multiple times for fun during sleepless nights.

     “How would I react if something bad happened?” She had thought many times before while lying in bed waiting for sleep to overcome her. She knew the facts and had imagined her response; although never in her wildest dreams did she think it would escape her imaginative fantasy and become reality.

     That brought up another question. What does it mean to be calm under pressure? Sure, during that moment, she remained calm…on the outside. She tried to keep her voice steady, control her breathing, and stop her body from shaking. However, her mind (which always seemed to be her constant enemy) taunted her with frightened thoughts and horrific scenarios. She was calm, but not at peace. She knew how to turn off her emotions, momentarily, to get the job done. That is not always the best solution, though.

     During the days afterwards, she struggled with a question that she had never truly had to face before. What does it mean to forgive? She couldn’t forget, although she desperately wanted to. Forgetting never truly eliminates the problem. It just contains it for a while. Through many days and nights of wondering, she came to the conclusion that forgiveness wasn’t forgetting; it was letting go. Forgiveness wasn’t an easy fix (like Ramen noodles or canned chili), it was a slow and deliberate process that took time and dedication (like a simmering stew or a well-done roast). She couldn’t expect herself to get over the circumstance easily, but it would come to her with the Lord’s help.

     She stood up from her curled position on the floor in the corner of the room and decided to walk around campus. As she did so she couldn’t help but wonder if life would ever go back to normal. What was normal? Is there a normal? She supposed there wasn’t. Normal must be an ever changing feeling of stability that periodically gets moved. You can never go back to a normal you once had, because once you leave it it ceases to exist. You cannot hold on to it, you just have to keep searching to find it once again after it changes.

     All of the sudden, it hit her. This experience, although it was unexpected and not at all what she would have wished for, had changed her as a person. It had given her new questions that needed to be answered in her mind. Although it would be hard to adjust to, life had not ended, it had just changed. 

     Her Lord had not changed, though. He is ever-constant. Her life-long mission was to follow Him no matter what and that meant trusting Him to use that situation for good, just like He had done a thousand times before.

     She was strong when she trusted in Him. She was calm under pressure when she believed He had everything under control. She could forgive because He had forgiven her. He was, is and will always be her normal because He is enough. He was the answer.

He is her answer.

The Disease of Comparison

     Although I'm a stickler for a good metaphor, I figured that I should return to just a normal blog post. Not to say that my blog is a "normal" one.

There I go comparing myself again! 

     It is sad how many times I catch myself comparing myself to other people around me! It truly is a dangerous hole to get stuck in. It is a vicious cycle of putting yourself down because you are not the same or similar to people around you. It is even worse when you realize that you are comparing yourself to people that you don't even know exist! How pathetic is that?

     College is a wondrous opportunity. I don't think I have emphasized that enough on my blog. (If you talk to me, however, I will give you the full analysis of how great it is.) I get to be involved in such cool activities that I would have never been able to do at home. I get to make decisions for myself, which is both a freedom and a burden. I have met so many wonderful people that I have drawn so close to in only a matter of months. On top of all that, I get to go to school to learn about theater and music. How cool is that!

     However, coming from a conservative homeschool family, I have had to deal with some inward things recently that have not come up before.

Comparison. 

     Being homeschooled, I really did not have too many peers in the same classes or situations as I to compare myself to. Also, my mom was really good at helping me to focus on what was true and not what other people were like. As I child, I was too focused on my next story or my imaginative worlds to pay much attention to other people.

     Being in college is a whole different realm. The adult world is full of comparison. That is how people get jobs and promotions. That is how we grade papers, pick our favorite music, choose friends, choose our significant others, and perceive the world around us. The field that I am studying is all about comparison. Auditions are the height of choosing people based on how they stand up to the others. It is not the fairest field to go into.

     Being around couples is another new situation that I am slowly learning to adjust to. As I see friends pair up into cute little bundles of happiness, my mind starts to perceive myself differently. When will it be my turn? Could there be someone out there that will choose me? Does my worth change with my relationship status? Of course, all of these thoughts can be taken down with the truth of God's Word. But this is a new battle of the mind that I have not really had to face before.

     Even yesterday as I went Black Friday shopping with a group of friends I found myself struggling with comparison. There is always that deceitful little lie in your mind that says you should be able to fit into that dress to be normal and beautiful. Or imagine what it would take for you to be the perfect models in all the advertisements posted on the walls. While everyone else around me was enjoying the sales and good buys, I was contemplating the sad world of comparison.

     It saddens me to know that every human being struggles with this disease. Most people don't realize how infectious it is. It is a parasite that slowly controls your mind so that you can only see the world through contacts of comparison. Everything around you is judged not based on the worth of the individual but by how it matches up to other things around it. People need to realize how false this view is.

     We need to view people by the correct standard. Every human being is made by God in a specific way that is beautiful and wonderful. Each brain is wired to think in unique ways. Each talent is cool because it is done in its own fashion. Each body was shaped by the Maker to be exactly how He wants it.

No human is the perfect version or the final product. 

     This is the truth that I have to continually repeat to myself. I may not have the perfect body, the most entrancing voice, the best acting skills, the smartest brain, or the friendliest personality.

     But I am His creation. I am His character in His story of life. I am right where he wants me to be, in every aspect of my life. This is the truth. This is the cure for the disease.

A Princess in a Tower (Another Metaphor)

      The princess stared out the window of her tower, anxiously looking to the horizon. She was waiting. Oh! How she hated the sound of that word! It filled her with such a heavy feeling of longing that she couldn't shake off. Waiting was such a painful experience that she had to do over and over again it seemed.
   
     What made the waiting worse was that she knew what she was waiting for. She was waiting for her prince to climb up and rescue her from her predicament. She was living at the top of a very tall tower that extended from the ground so high that she could see for miles around. She had never left the tower, unlike many of the other princess around her.
   
     You see, the King had set up towers for all of His precious princesses to keep them safe. When each girl was born a prophecy was announced over them that in the future their prince would come. However, the King knew that there were many men in the world who pretended to be noble princes but who were scoundrels in disguise. Because of His great wisdom and foresight, He built towers all around His kingdom for His precious princesses to live in until their true prince would come along. These towers were huge! They stretched out to the sky and were built from study mountain stone. They were constructed so intricately that to climb them one would scratch his hands and knees and make them bleed. That was the King's design.

It was a test to determine who deserved the treasure at the top.

   
     At first, the princesses didn't mind living in their towers. It was home to them and it was filled with so many wonderful toys, books, and games that it was easy to pass away the time.  There were so many new things to learn about the world that their curiosity was content with the interior of their dwelling. However, after a certain time, they began to stare outside the window more and more.

     Playing games became less desirable, and imagining their princes-to-be became the prominent thought of their minds. Many of them couldn't stand the waiting. Against their father's anxious plea, they climbed down their towers in search of their own princes. They left the safety of their dwelling and took matters into their own hands. To the overwhelming sadness of the King, many of them fell into despair as they realized what a horrible mistake it was.

     The beautiful princess saw her sisters leave their towers and find soulmates. A part of her hurt for them because of the disappointing outcome of their decisions, and yet she wanted to join them. It seemed as if it were the only possible way that she would ever have a prince of her own. It certainly was working to an extent. Although it wasn't what the prophecy had foretold, it did produce results.
Every day she would gaze down the stone walls of her dwelling and wondered how much it would hurt if she tried climbing down to the bottom. Would it be worth the pain?

     Many men wandered at the foot of her tower. She would eagerly call to them and they would converse in a friendly manner. Yet none of them desired to make an effort to climb up to be with her.
Each time they would saunter off leaving the princess in confusion and doubt. How would the prophecy come true if none dared to try? Was she not worth the effort? Was she the only princess not rescued from her singleness?

     Each time these feelings of loneliness and doubt arose within her, the King would visit. He knew her deepest insecurities and girlish desires.

He also knew that perfect timing was a gift that only He possessed.

     He would take her into His loving arms and tell her the truth. He had everything in control. There was a prince on his own journey out in world who was searching nobly for the perfect woman. He was seeking the only princess who would complement him, and it was going to be her. The time was just not ripe yet. She just needed to wait and trust the Him.

     Diligently, the princess tried her hardest to trust the King. She often forgot His words and would begin to try and make the climb down herself. Each time He would always be there to gently remind of the perfect timing that was yet to come. With tears of humility and longing, she would return back to the top of her tower and patiently wait again.

     She couldn't barely stand it. The King's words always gave her such excitement. What will it be like when her prince began the climb to meet her? How would she react? How would he know that she is his one? When would she know that he was the perfect fit? With trembling breaths, she would calm herself and return to her window to wait.

     She would wait for him, not because the King forced her to do it. She wouldn't wait because she enjoyed it. She would wait because deep down inside she knew that it would be completely worth it. She knew that the long suffering she endured now would make her prince admire her even more. Ultimately, she knew that the King, who controlled time and destiny, would make all things work out for her good. That was perfectly fine.

Sometimes Courage Is Saying "No"

(Warning: Content may be hard for people-pleasers.)

     I firmly believe that every individual person on this earth is jam-packed with numerous personality traits. God went all out creating a perfectly unique version of you that is so complex that it is impossible to recreate. Personality quizzes, like the Meyers Briggs or the ones you find on Facebook, are cool and occasionally accurate, but they can never truly explain who you are. You probably don't even know all the little quirks you have that makes God smile because

IT IS YOU. 

That is an incredible thing that I love about human beings!
   
    Since we are an incredible melting pot of attributes, there are most likely some that we share in common. (By the way, I wholeheartedly advice you to learn who you are. It doesn't matter if your a tweenager, teenager, or adult. Knowing the little things about you is an incredible discovery that I am still enjoying.) In this post, I want to connect with the people-pleasers out there.
   

   You know who you are. ;) 

    You are the kind of person who is really compassionate, slightly vain (admit it), always wanting to help a friend out, a perfectionist in some areas, perhaps the teacher's pet, that person in class who gets an A's not because they are extremely smart but to make the teacher happy, perhaps you're a performer of some sort, or you work in customer service. People like you because you follow the rules, always seem pleasant, willing to help extra, or easily persuaded. I am sure you are not all of these things. This description doesn't fully describe me.
   
    If you relate to maybe a couple of these traits, I want to have a little chat with you. I am a people-pleaser. You bet I am! I am the first child, which I guess could add to it, but it is also a part of my personality. Being willing to help others out and being compassionate is a really good thing! The Bible encourages us to be kind and compassionate, and says that encouragement is a spiritual gift! Woohoo! Great job! This probably comes easy to you!
   
    However, every trait has a flip-side. If you are anything like me you probably are easily persuaded. Have you ever taken the leadership role, not because you are a natural born leader, but no one else stepped up? Or have to tried to help too many people at once that you don't have the time to get any of your personal stuff done. Have you been overwhelmed with other people's problems? Have you been depressed because you felt that you are not enough? If no one encourages you or says you did a good job, do you feel devoid of a purpose? Basically, I am preaching to myself. This is me.
   

 Listen. You and I are not enough! 

    We cannot please everyone we come in contact with! We are going to fail, sometimes drastically. We will sometimes not have the right words, enough strength, the right voice, the best attitude, or the best grade. We can be so fake sometimes, acting like our world is butterflies and rainbows so that the people around us will be pleased with our radiant attitude. You and I need to be real. We have got to grasp that we cannot satisfy everyone.
   
    This may sound selfish, but occasionally we need to have a little "me time." We can be kind of obsessed with saying "yes" to every person who asks for our assistance. For us it takes courage to say "no." This is an act that I struggle with. I hate saying "no" to someone who needs me, but if I don't I won't have any time to work on my own projects. I cannot be the permanent crutch for everyone to lean on. It may kill me to refuse to assist, but if I say "no", I am saying "yes" to something better.
   
     So, people-pleasers, this might be a hard pill to swallow (and I hate taking pills) but ultimately it will help us balance out our crazy lives. Perhaps, instead of stretching ourselves out to fill numerous roles, we can become fully devoted to a few and excel at those. How about we try saying "no" together to make our "yes's" even better!

The Life of A Cow

     Yes, the title of this post is "The Life of a Cow." I was also considering "To Be a Cow" or "Born to be a Bovine," but those are rather cheesy. Well, the whole thing is cheesy, but so much fun!
 
     In case you were wondering if I have lost my sanity, I can perfectly and clear-headedly say that I am stable. And no, this is not related to a cow that I own, but of my own experience today.
 
     I have been an official Chickfila Cow! I work at Chickfila (in case you haven't read any of my earlier posts). About a week ago, I offered to be the Chickfila mascot, a Cow, at any upcoming event. I had never been a mascot before and thought it would be an interesting experience and something to check off my "bucket list." Also, since I LOVE acting, I thought that I would thoroughly enjoy it. Seriously, it is basically miming (acting only using body language). That's right down my alley! Putting my gifts to good use!
   
     Of course, after hearing my request, Chickfila was very eager to get me in the suit. There aren't many willing volunteers since it is a tiring job. I was scheduled for three events right off! (I guess they really needed me.) Today, I had two different events to appear at, which is a LONG day.
 
     Just to clarify, there is a real person in the cow. I hope you know that by now. ;) The suit is very complicated and very heavy. I don't want to give too many secrets out. Let me just say this. It is very hot, because you are covered from head to toe in thick material. The head is the most complicated piece. If you are claustrophobic, you shouldn't have this job. You can only see through a small opening that points downward. (So if you see a mascot and they don't see you right away, take it easy on them, they are seeing as best as they can.)  One problem that I was worried about was if I had an itch on my face. There is no way to scratch it! You have to somehow rub your head inside the "head" to in some way to relieve the itch!
   
    Despite the heaviness of the suit and the crazy heat that you feel, it really is a fun job! I basically got paid to give "high fives", wave, and take pictures with random people! I got to dance to music randomly. A stranger and I had a dance session, and it was fun! There is an incredible freedom to be able to be silly and have a great time without worrying what people think of you because all they see it the cow and not the person inside!
   
    Sometimes it is funny when people don't know who you are! I took a picture today with a woman from my church, and I couldn't say "hi!" Hahahaha! I will totally have to go up to her on Sunday and say "You know that Chickfila Cow you took a picture with at the football game? That was me!" I can't wait to see her expression!
   
     I was also mistaken for a guy! Apparently, it looks like a male cow, because no one guessed there was a girl underneath. I had some person give the Cow (me) a guy hug, and someone said "Thanks, man!" to me! Whoops! ;) I couldn't help but giggle (to myself, of course, not out loud)!
   

     Just thinking about today makes me laugh! 

     It was such an unusual but exhilarating experience! Now I can say that I have been a Cow! That's something not many people can say. Oh my! I'm getting tickled writing this!
   
     Seriously, though, if there were more people who would just wave at strangers and give "high fives" to every kid they see, people would be more friendly. If we weren't afraid to dance when there is a cool beat, or dance with a stranger and just enjoy life, we wouldn't be so scared about what other people think about us. Wouldn't that be great? I struggle with that so much. I am always concerned about how other people view me. There was such a releasing feeling of not caring that I felt in the Cow that was awesome! I wish I didn't have to feel so on guard all the time. That was something that the Cow taught me. I can't wait to do it again on Monday!

Advice From A Senior

     So, I'm a senior in high school this year. Ya. It's pretty crazy to imagine that I have completed almost twelve years of school work, and I have learned volumes of information (some of which is very useful, and some which I wondered why I studied that at all.) If I look back I realize that I have grown an incredible understanding of how the world works. Imagine, all that you know now was realized throughout your years of school! That's so incredibly amazing! Subjects from typing (which I am using at the moment ;D) to astronomy, biology, economics, writing, music, and theater, have all combined and intertwined into an better understanding of how the world works and the glory of the One who created it!
   
     I don't know if every senior or student considers this amazing fact, but it is well worth the thought. It gives you an appreciation for those twelve years and countless hours of adding information to your brain. It is a rewarding thought. I think it might also be my homeschooler inside of me. Growing up as a homeschooler, my mom always said, "You never stop learning. We are always learning new things everyday!" It's true! As a child, I always loved to learn. I had, and still have, a gnawing curiosity to try new things and learn new interesting subjects. (Now, sticking with learning a single subject is where I falter.) Curiosity may have "killed the cat" but for me it has opened exciting new doors.
 
    This was not what this post was to be initially about. I kind of got sidetracked. I guess that's the writer inside of me. I get going and get swept off in different directions! My crazy brain! However, for those of you out there who are "stuck in school" this is meant to be a positive, encouraging note. Advice from a senior,
   
    1) We are just as dingy as you! Believe me, seniors are nothing special. We are just as crazy!
   
    2) Keep plugging away at it! Although those pointless exercises you do everyday (you know what I'm talking about) seem dumb, they are pounding important concepts in your brain that will be hard to forget later. ("I before E except after C"!)
   
    3) Just take a moment a remember what you've already accomplished! Look at the thousands of things you have added to your memory that could not have been there before! Wow! You are amazing!
   
    This was totally not what I was going to write about, but that's ok! It was what was needed to be said. I can't believe it is me that is saying it! I feel like I am the least adequate person to tell you all this "grown-up" advice, but it kind of just came out through the keyboard. I needed this as much a you do. Senioritis started to set in, but there is a cure! ;D